For those who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, dating can be challenging. Struggling with anxiety, depression, mania, and mental fatigue in a relationship is complicated. There comes a time when you have to open up to your partner about what you’re going through, and it can be tough to know when the right time is or how to bring up the subject.
Read on to learn the four best ways to talk to your partner about your bipolar disorder and how to deal with their response.
1. Come With Backup Materials
Before talking with your partner, plan what you want to tell them. Will you let them know about the symptoms, how it affects you, or the type of bipolar disorder you have?
You’ll want to bring along some materials that will back up what you’re telling them and help educate them. Some partners may want to read about your mental health condition on their own time. In that case, it’s helpful to bring a book or YouTube video to give them after your talk, so they can read or watch more about the condition.
If you have been having relationship issues due to mental health struggles, you may want to suggest seeing a couple’s therapist with your partner. Let them know how this could help you both and why you think it’s a good idea.
You can leave your partner with the advice column page from BetterHelp about bipolar disorder, as it’s an excellent resource (https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/bipolar/).
2. Be Patient
If your partner doesn’t have much education on mental health, they may react differently than you expect at first. Or they may need more clarification on some things. It’s important to understand that this isn’t personal, and mental health can be a complex topic for many people.
Express your wants before going into the conversation. Let your partner know that it’s important to you that they try to listen and do their best to understand. If they seem hesitant, ask them when a good time to converse would be for them.
Of course, you do not have to put up with violent or aggressive behavior. If your partner reacts violently, get as far away as possible. If you are in a domestic violence situation, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).
3. Explain How It Affects You
Be open to your partner about how your bipolar disorder affects you personally. Let them know the symptoms you deal with and information on the different types of bipolar disorder. Since not everyone with the condition experiences the same things, it’ll be beneficial for you to personalize your conversation.
Use examples that your partner may already see in your behavior in the relationship. For example, if you’ve been struggling to keep up on your hygiene lately, you can let your partner know that it’s due to your depression.
4. Talk About Treatment
Finally, talk about what you’re doing to help yourself. If you don’t have a treatment plan in place yet, let our partner know your plans for taking care of yourself.
If you have a therapist or are taking medication, tell your partner how those tools help you and what you plan to get from them. If you’ve been struggling with your behavior or mood, showing an urge to get better and feel good is going to help both you and your partner with your bipolar disorder.
How to Deal With the Response
If your partner reacts positively and supportively to your confession, that’s great! Congratulations. In the cases where the partner takes a little bit longer to warm up to the idea or reacts negatively, there are a few things you can do to help, including:
- Leaving resources for them to look at on their own time
- Seeing a couple’s therapist to have the conversation
- Debunking myths or preconceptions your partner may have
- Showing them a list of famous people with your condition
- Explaining how you aim to treat your bipolar disorder
In the end, it’s okay to end a relationship if someone is treating you poorly for having a mental health condition. Everyone deserves the chance to be heard and loved.
